Grey Matters…

grey matters

Today I’d like to talk about that which I do not have…a grey area…
Below are 10 typical situations and the reaction patterns of me and my guess lots of other neurotic, anxiety ridden folks. There is the B&W version (bad) and the grey version (good). I need more grey in my life…

Situation 1:  Coworker sends ya an email: “Hey I tried calling you because I wanted to talk to you about a few things in that last meeting. Tomorrow good?”

B&W reaction: “Great, he thought I was too aggressive and now he’s angry. He doesn’t like the way I’m handling things and Im not doing a good enough job and someone has asked him to talk to me. On top of it, I have to wait till TOMORROW!! I’m done today. Why does everything suck??? Im going for a run”

Grey reaction: “Sure thing!”

Situation 2: Partner sends text: “Hey, I just tried to call you, Call me”

B&W reaction: “Oh No, we were robbed, Dylan is hurt, and the house is on fire.”

Grey reaction: “Oh, whoops missed Michael’s call. Let me call him back”

Situation 3: Assumption of therapist’s thoughts after I tell her something weird or neurotic…

B&W reaction: “This girl forgot to pay her brain bill. WOW. I have never met anyone so weird in all my years of therapy.  I need to switch careers.”

Grey reaction: “Hmmm, heard that one before.”

Situation 4:  Head hurts, again:

B&W reaction: “What does an aneurysm feel like? Wonder if I have excess spinal fluid putting pressure on my brain? I saw that in one of those weird ways to die shows”

Grey reaction: “Hmm, headache, probably tension, where’s my Motrin?”

Situation 5:  Something wet on the bathroom handle at mini mart

B&W reaction: “Oh please no, that did not just touch me. Ugh it is soaking into my pours. Its probably a looger, or drool from someone with rabies, NOO!! What if it’s KY off some meth head’s hand? I need to go burn my hand now”

Grey reaction: “Someone didnt dry their hands all the way.”

Situation 6:  There is a leak in the upstairs bathroom and we found some mold.

B&W reaction: “Everybody get your shit together, we are moving.”

Grey reaction: “OK lets asess the damage and get some estimates.”

Situation 7:  People laughing in a meeting when you are talking.

B&W reaction: “Great, I just said something stupid, I have spinach in my teeth, I bet my gynecologist  took a picture of me in those stirrups and emailed it to all my co workers”

Grey reaction: “Oh, someone said something silly”

Situation 8:  I’m suddenly (finally) losing a little weight

B&W reaction: “Oh, well, I guess its time to start thinking about putting some money aside for my funeral, so its not a burden to those I love.”

Grey reaction: “Oh, my running and yoga are starting to pay off.”

Situation 9:  Trying not to eat as much sugar, and you have a less than successful day at it

B&W reaction: “Forget this, pull into Chic filet and order the bucket size chocolate milkshake with whip and go lay in bed.”

Grey reaction: “Oops, shouldn’t of had that cookie, lets try again tomorrow.”

Situation 10:  Haven’t seen family in as while, been busy, feel distant

B&W reaction: “Ugh, they hate me, and I don’t even know these people anymore.”

Grey reaction: “Wow, its been a little bit, I need to keep in touch better.”

This is a daily struggle, people. Sometimes hourly. Let’s broaden our color palette! More color, less ulcers.

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