Grey Matters…

grey matters

Today I’d like to talk about that which I do not have…a grey area…
Below are 10 typical situations and the reaction patterns of me and my guess lots of other neurotic, anxiety ridden folks. There is the B&W version (bad) and the grey version (good). I need more grey in my life…

Situation 1:  Coworker sends ya an email: “Hey I tried calling you because I wanted to talk to you about a few things in that last meeting. Tomorrow good?”

B&W reaction: “Great, he thought I was too aggressive and now he’s angry. He doesn’t like the way I’m handling things and Im not doing a good enough job and someone has asked him to talk to me. On top of it, I have to wait till TOMORROW!! I’m done today. Why does everything suck??? Im going for a run”

Grey reaction: “Sure thing!”

Situation 2: Partner sends text: “Hey, I just tried to call you, Call me”

B&W reaction: “Oh No, we were robbed, Dylan is hurt, and the house is on fire.”

Grey reaction: “Oh, whoops missed Michael’s call. Let me call him back”

Situation 3: Assumption of therapist’s thoughts after I tell her something weird or neurotic…

B&W reaction: “This girl forgot to pay her brain bill. WOW. I have never met anyone so weird in all my years of therapy.  I need to switch careers.”

Grey reaction: “Hmmm, heard that one before.”

Situation 4:  Head hurts, again:

B&W reaction: “What does an aneurysm feel like? Wonder if I have excess spinal fluid putting pressure on my brain? I saw that in one of those weird ways to die shows”

Grey reaction: “Hmm, headache, probably tension, where’s my Motrin?”

Situation 5:  Something wet on the bathroom handle at mini mart

B&W reaction: “Oh please no, that did not just touch me. Ugh it is soaking into my pours. Its probably a looger, or drool from someone with rabies, NOO!! What if it’s KY off some meth head’s hand? I need to go burn my hand now”

Grey reaction: “Someone didnt dry their hands all the way.”

Situation 6:  There is a leak in the upstairs bathroom and we found some mold.

B&W reaction: “Everybody get your shit together, we are moving.”

Grey reaction: “OK lets asess the damage and get some estimates.”

Situation 7:  People laughing in a meeting when you are talking.

B&W reaction: “Great, I just said something stupid, I have spinach in my teeth, I bet my gynecologist  took a picture of me in those stirrups and emailed it to all my co workers”

Grey reaction: “Oh, someone said something silly”

Situation 8:  I’m suddenly (finally) losing a little weight

B&W reaction: “Oh, well, I guess its time to start thinking about putting some money aside for my funeral, so its not a burden to those I love.”

Grey reaction: “Oh, my running and yoga are starting to pay off.”

Situation 9:  Trying not to eat as much sugar, and you have a less than successful day at it

B&W reaction: “Forget this, pull into Chic filet and order the bucket size chocolate milkshake with whip and go lay in bed.”

Grey reaction: “Oops, shouldn’t of had that cookie, lets try again tomorrow.”

Situation 10:  Haven’t seen family in as while, been busy, feel distant

B&W reaction: “Ugh, they hate me, and I don’t even know these people anymore.”

Grey reaction: “Wow, its been a little bit, I need to keep in touch better.”

This is a daily struggle, people. Sometimes hourly. Let’s broaden our color palette! More color, less ulcers.

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Worry is our state of mind

worry, worrying
How much time do we spend worrying?
Worrying about our health…
Worrying about money…
Worrying about what he thinks, what she thinks, what they think…
Worrying about your son’s middle and high school years, getting his driver’s license, a broken heart, peer pressure, choices…
Worrying about the fact that you can’t spell license…
Worrying about how much we’re worrying…(that’s a fun one)
Worrying about whether you are going to get stuck in the MRI machine, and if it breaks or if zombies come…would the tech bother pulling you out or not…
Worrying about large people fitting into an MRI…
Worrying about whether you will fall walking down the aisle on your wedding day…
Worrying about your grey hairs…
Worrying about your dark spots on your upper lip that make you look like you have a mustache…
Worrying about your coupon expiration dates, and the fact that you collect coupons and never use them…
Worrying about saying something stupid in a meeting at work…
Worrying about cancer…
Worrying about when you’re going to die…
Worrying about the country…
Worrying about the fact that you don’t blog enough…
Worrying about the neighborhood going to crap…
Worrying about whether you have lead poisoning from the pencil you just stabbed yourself with…
Worrying that everyone’s house looks bigger and nicer than yours…
Worrying about the friend’s that never call you…
(None of these are mine of course)

Understanding that worrying about these things is what makes us human, if there is nothing in this moment that you can do about them. STOP!!

Let the thought go in, acknowledge it, decide whether you can do something about it in the very near future or not, and then move on. Not move on and continue to think about it, but truly move on. Find something to entertain yourself with, watch a Netflix show, go for a run, read a book, go to work, cook something delicious, help someone, do some online shopping, refuse to entertain anything but positive thoughts.

I spend 70% of my time worrying. It is mental and physical work because it actually tires me out and at the end of the day I have less to give my family. Think about it. It is absolutely useless, and we do it over and over and over again.

I want to live my life and be at peace as much as I can. And some days are a blur because I was a walking worry bubble from morning till night. It starts as soon as my feet hit the floor.
On my death bed I don’t think I’ll ever say “Man, I wish I worried more.” I am learning to chalk it up to my brain being an asshole, and refusing to pay attention.

YOUR BRAIN IS AN ASSHOLE. This is the moral of this story. (Sorry, Im sure your brain has a lot of good qualities too.) But, mostly its an asshole.

Im going to go now and spend some quality time with my boyfriend instead of worrying that I don’t spend enough quality time with my boyfriend. Yep, Im going upstairs to make out.
In the meantime, maybe check out Mel Robbins and her 5 second rule. You can use it for worry, and a slew of other things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG4Kfj0xkD4

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